Overwhelmed Momma

You ever get that completely overwhelming feeling… like I’m home all day with these humans and I’m trying like hell to not fuck them up but man sometimes I don’t even know how I get out of bed in the morning, but I do it… keeping the house clean never to my standards because I’m OCD but just enough so I don’t completely lose my shit lol (had to learn early on that when having OCD you have to let some of it go because kids are little slobs)… but because I can’t keep my house how I like I’m always anxious, things have a place and when there is clutter I feel like I’m living in a tight space… but also keeping everyone happy and satisfied, making every meal, plus a vehicle breaking down, and another one needing work done in order for it to pass inspection (so thats even more money coming out), just so much going on you feel like you’re in a swimming pool drowning… like you can almost feel the tightness in your lungs… I love my girls more than life itself but sometimes I just want to go away somewhere and scream… there is just always something needing to be done, or bills needing to be paid, or a child that needs something… everything is just nonstop… I have to remember in the still moments to just breath… I hate the statement “oh but you get to stay home, you’re so lucky, you signed up for this…” it’s completely discouraging and it tries to take away from the fact that it is fucking hard! You tend to loose yourself, you’re a wife and a mom and sometimes nothing else… you have these little people who depend on you for everything and I’m trying to raise them the right way with a childhood they don’t have to recover from in adulthood… as I stated above there’s always something that needs to be done, cleaning and washing is continuous, and we get no breaks… most jobs come with a break and once your done working you get to come home… but a momma doesn’t whether she’s a working mom or a stay at home mom the job is 24/7 and sometimes I’m going to say it, it can be A LOT!!! Doesn’t help with the stresses of life kicking you in the ass as well, it just seems sometimes like everything is just meant to tear you down, to break your spirits, but then I look down and one of my girls wants a hug or just wants to cuddle and it makes everything worth it… it’s hard and it’s overwhelming at times but you have to find those little moments where you can breath, thats the only way to get through it… at least for me… and today has been a day but I’m not losing hope and looking in my kid’s eyes I can see how happy they are and that’s all I need to let me know I’m at least doing something right… thats it for today, some short and sweet venting but hey sometimes that’s the moment you need to be able to continue through the day… hopefully everyone is having a better day then I am and if you aren’t, then keep shinning, and know you’re loved… peace, love, and chicken grease 😎✌🏼💖